Very Mary-Kate - Season 1

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Moving Out

1 - Moving Out

Air Date: January 31, 2010

I get a new place. Ash looks totes fugly - ugh - I mean tired in this one. Wardrobe provided by Donna Karen.

Moving Day

2 - Moving Day

Air Date: January 31, 2010

My bodyguard is responsible for everything related to my body, including moving the stuff I surround my body with.

Bodyguard

3 - Bodyguard

Air Date: January 31, 2010

Got legit sick filming this. Didn’t sleep for 48 hrs. Not cuz of drugs, you haters, b/c I’m an effing method actor.

Baby

4 - Baby

Air Date: January 31, 2010

I consider getting a baby. At least I think that’s what happens. It’s been a while since I read the script.

Baby Daddy

5 - Baby Daddy

Air Date: February 8, 2010

Bodyguard flat out refuses to be my daddy baby, so I flat out threaten to steal his sperm.

Depressed

6 - Depressed

Air Date: March 1, 2010

I’m tired of waiting around for that special someone to have a baby for me.

Hangover

7 - Hangover

Air Date: March 1, 2010

I learn never to drive drunk. Especially when driving a blimp.

Fight

8 - Fight

Air Date: March 1, 2010

I know to get emotional when the piano music kicks in.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

9 - Philip Seymour Hoffman

Air Date: March 13, 2010

I get acting lessons from the Academy Award-winning creep-o.

Cat

10 - Cat

Air Date: April 4, 2010

I decide to get a cat rather than have a baby because it’s more expensive.

Back to School

11 - Back to School

Air Date: April 4, 2010

I’m going back to college to get my The Bachelor degree.

Extension

12 - Extension

Air Date: April 11, 2010

Can I have an extension on that paper I have to write? I have to learn how to write.

Paper

13 - Paper

Air Date: April 11, 2010

I ended up getting an “F” for “F”-ort.

Crush

14 - Crush

Air Date: April 18, 2010

It’s just a little crush and I throw up a little every time they touch.

Ashleyguard

15 - Ashleyguard

Air Date: April 18, 2010

But Ashley doesn’t have nipple hair!

Nightmare

16 - Nightmare

Air Date: April 26, 2010

Quiet, Evil Dragon, I’m trying to write a description!

Zac Efron

17 - Zac Efron

Air Date: April 29, 2010

A date with Zac Efron? Zac Ef yes!

Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

18 - Philip Seymour Hoffman 2

Air Date: May 3, 2010

Is this about all those blimps I crashed? Because I keep telling you guys, I don’t care.

Gun

19 - Gun

Air Date: May 3, 2010

Do you feel lucky, Bodyguard? Are you a Luckyguard?