Car 54, Where Are You? - Season 1
1 - Who's for Swordfish?
Air Date: September 17, 1961
In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?
2 - Something Nice for Sol
Air Date: September 24, 1961
Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.
3 - Home Sweet Sing Sing
Air Date: October 1, 1961
The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.
4 - Change Your Partner
Air Date: October 8, 1961
Toody and Muldoon's 9 blissful years as partners stun a researcher who finds the average prowl car pair last only 16 months before screaming to be switched. If the NYPD management engineer can discover their secret and replicate it, that'll save the blue brass many headaches. But Gunther and Francis' precinct mates don't want to know what actually goes on in Car 54, or even worse: can New York's finest clone empty-headed chatterbox Toody and somber, cerebral Muldoon ?
5 - I Won't Go
Air Date: October 15, 1961
Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.
6 - Muldoon's Star
Air Date: October 22, 1961
Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.
7 - The Paint Job
Air Date: October 29, 1961
A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.
8 - Love Finds Muldoon
Air Date: November 5, 1961
Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.
9 - The Gypsy Curse
Air Date: November 12, 1961
The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.
10 - Thirty Days Notice
Air Date: November 19, 1961
Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.
11 - Catch Me on the Paar Show
Air Date: November 26, 1961
After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.
12 - The Taming of Lucille
Air Date: December 3, 1961
Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."
13 - Put It in the Bank
Air Date: December 10, 1961
The 53rd Precinct's Brotherhood Club's newly elected treasurer Gunther Toody is determined to invest their hard-earned $800 in the stock market despite the protests of his fiscally conservative colleagues.
14 - Get Well, Officer Schnauser
Air Date: December 17, 1961
While Schnauser is laid up in the hospital, Toody is tapped by the FBI to go undercover to help them nab notorious bank robber "No Face."
15 - Christmas at the 53rd
Air Date: December 24, 1961
The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.
16 - The Sacrifice
Air Date: January 7, 1962
Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.
17 - Boom, Boom, Boom
Air Date: January 14, 1962
The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.
18 - Toody & Muldoon Crack Down
Air Date: January 21, 1962
After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.
19 - Toody's Paradise
Air Date: January 28, 1962
Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.
20 - How High Is Up?
Air Date: February 4, 1962
Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.
21 - Toody and the Art World
Air Date: February 11, 1962
Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.
22 - What Happened to Thursday?
Air Date: February 18, 1962
The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious confusion.
23 - How Smart Can You Get?
Air Date: February 25, 1962
The smartest rookie cop is assigned to ride w/chatty Toody & reticent Muldoon. Can Car 54 survive, now that Muldoon has stimulating conversation?
24 - Today I Am a Man
Air Date: March 4, 1962
Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family who gets the wrong impression from his weapon!
25 - No More Pickpockets
Air Date: March 11, 1962
The boys go under cover at Yankee Stadium to stem the onslaught of pickpockets. One skilled pilferer turns the tide on Toody; who ends up arrested?
26 - The Beast Who Walked the Bronx
Air Date: March 18, 1962
Burkholtz, relegated to the Lost & Found for 15 years due to his extreme laxity is the only choice to sub for Capt. Block on his forced two week vacation. The boys mistake his absence from active duty thinking it's because he was too tough!
27 - The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser
Air Date: March 25, 1962
Leo and Sylvia Schnauser decide to renew their vows with a large wedding ceremony.
28 - The Auction
Air Date: April 1, 1962
The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.
29 - Quiet! We're Thinking
Air Date: April 8, 1962
Gunther and Lucille's 11-year-old nephew Marvin, in the Big Apple for a Boy Scout event, helps Toody and Muldoon crack the cases that have flummoxed New York's Finest.
30 - I Love Lucille
Air Date: April 22, 1962
Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.